


Steady As She Goes

by Agapostemon



Series: Cardboard Castles [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 3+1 Things, 4 Things, Adulting is hard, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatlogs, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Keith (Voltron) Has BPD, Keith and Shiro are Siblings, POV Hunk (Voltron), Puns & Word Play, broganes, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-05 09:09:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agapostemon/pseuds/Agapostemon
Summary: Hunk groans, “What happened to youroldmicrowave?”“I, um… it…” Keith stammers, “It fell out the window?”“Good riddance. A fitting demise for the most cursed appliance.”“No!” retorts Keith, “I needed that microwave!”“Well, then, why did you throw it out the window?”“I didn’tthrowit!” Keith defends, “Itfell!”--------OR: Three times Hunk had to clean up the Broganes’ messes after Keith made them worse, and one time Keith called for help before escalating the situation





	1. Microwave

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place over the course of Hunk and Keith's junior year of college (the same year as [Dreams and Disasters](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9810818)).
> 
> Title comes from [Them Dirty Bones by Mike Waters](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2cpZnFdbt0), which is such a great Cardboard Castles Keith song. Aaand as always: My Voltron Tumblr is [Agapostemon](https://agapostemon.tumblr.com/), if you wanna come say hi!
> 
> Characters and Ages:  
> Shiro - 29/30  
> Keith - 20/21  
> Hunk - 20/21  
> Lance - 20  
> Pidge - 18

Hunk is startled awake by the sound of his phone buzzing. He fumbles for it in the dark, muttering to himself about the ungodly hour. By some miracle, he manages to retrieve the offending device before it goes to voicemail. It’s Keith. Hunk grumbles and swipes his screen to answer, “Hey buddy. Is there a reason you’re calling me at 3:17am? Because if this is anything short of an emergency, you owe me one.”

All he hears in response is heavy breathing.

“Uh… hello?” Hunk repeats, “Keith? Are you actually there, or did you sleep-dial me? Because so help me god, if you called me at 3am for no reason, I’m gonna—”

“Where can I get a good microwave?” Keith finally manages to hiss.

“You’re calling me at 3am to discuss _microwaves_?” Hunk responds indignantly, “Dude, you already know how I feel about microwaves! Cursed appliances. There’s no such thing as a good microwave. Go back to bed.”

“I was never in bed!” Keith snaps back, “And you _know_ Shiro and I would starve to death without a microwave, so cut the fancy chef crap and help me find a new one.”

Hunk groans, “What happened to your _old_ microwave?”

“I, um… it…” Keith stammers, “It fell out the window?”

“Good riddance. A fitting demise for the most cursed appliance.”

“No!” retorts Keith, “I needed that microwave!”

“Well, then, why did you throw it out the window?”

“I didn’t _throw_ it!” Keith defends, “It _fell_!”

“Yeah, right after you shoved it through the window,” Hunk teases.

“Fine! Okay! I threw it out the window. But it was broken anyways! Shiro microwaved a fork with his leftovers, so I sent him to bed and told him I’d repair it while he sleeps.”

“And then you got pissed five minutes in and threw it out the window,” Hunk guesses.

“No!” Keith insists, “I spent at _least_ ten minutes working on it.”

Hunk snickers, “Sounds like a perfect excuse to switch to a toaster oven.”

“I don’t like toaster ovens,” Keith argues petulantly.

“Why? What have toaster ovens ever done to wrong you?”

“They’re too slow.”

Hunk lets out a sigh of resignation, “Fine, I’ll take you microwave shopping after class tomorrow.”

“Cool, thanks,” responds Keith, his voice filled with relief, “And if Shiro asks, tell him I did _not_ throw the microwave out the window.”

Hunk snorts, “Duly noted. Now go to sleep! What is _wrong_ with you? Don’t you have class at 9am?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine. I have coffee.”

“Well, I for one intend to be well-rested for my Calc III midterm tomorrow. Good _night_ ,” Hunk shakes his head and hangs up.


	2. Dryer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance (7:17pm): My fire hosting skills remain unrecognized  
> Hunk (7:17pm): It’s okay, bud. I recognize your fire hosting skills!  
> Pidge (7:18pm): Are we talking about literal fire or figurative fire? Because I’m not sure hosting literal fires is something you should be doing.  
> Keith (7:18pm): uh  
> Keith (7:18pm): speaking of hosting fires  
> Hunk (7:19pm): WHAT DID YOU DO…………………  
> Hunk (7:19pm): (Other than make a spectacular pun. Good job dude, I’M PROUD OF U. <333)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a chatlog chapter!! Or a... CHATpter, if you will. Enjoy some gratuitous banter.

**Keith (7:12pm):** question

 **Hunk (7:13pm):** Answer!

 **Keith (7:13pm):** can shiro and I uh

 **Keith (7:13pm):** stay at ur place for a few days

 **Lance (7:14pm):** SURE THING, my man!! I gotchu. My hosting skills are FIRE. ;D

 **Hunk (7:14pm):** *squints* …what did you do THIS time?

 **Pidge (7:14pm):** And what’s wrong with my parents’ house?

 **Keith (7:14pm):** that’s what shiro said!

 **Hunk (7:15pm):** Which thing? My thing or Pidge’s thing?

 **Keith (7:15pm):** uh

 **Lance (7:15pm):** Or MY thing???

 **Keith (7:15pm):** both

 **Lance (7:16pm):** *waggles eyebrows*

 **Keith (7:16pm):** not lance’s thing

 **Lance (7:16pm):** awwwwWWWWW BANANAS

 **Lance (7:17pm):** My fire hosting skills remain unrecognized

 **Hunk (7:17pm):** It’s okay, bud. I recognize your fire hosting skills!

 **Pidge (7:18pm):** Are we talking about literal fire or figurative fire? Because I’m not sure hosting literal fires is something you should be doing.

 **Keith (7:18pm):** uh

 **Keith (7:18pm):** speaking of hosting fires

 **Hunk (7:19pm):** WHAT DID YOU DO…………………

 **Hunk (7:19pm):** (Other than make a spectacular pun. Good job dude, I’M PROUD OF U.  <333)

 **Keith (7:19pm):** i didn’t DO anything

 **Keith (7:20pm):** shiro’s the one who did the laundry

 **Hunk (7:20pm):** Oh no…

 **Keith (7:20pm):** seriously!

 **Keith (7:21pm):** i repaired the dryer 2 days ago!

 **Hunk (7:21pm):** Oh nooOOOOOO…….

 **Keith (7:21pm):** what

 **Pidge (7:21pm):** “Repaired?”

 **Keith (7:22pm):** yea

 **Keith (7:22pm):** shiro was trying 2 duct tape it again

 **Keith (7:22pm):** so I took over

 **Hunk (7:22pm):** OHHHH NOOOOOOOOO

 **Lance (7:22pm):** NOOOOOooOOoOOOOOOOooooooooooo

 **Pidge (7:23pm):** So, just out of curiosity… how many times did you kick and/or punch the dryer in the process of fixing it?

 **Keith (7:23pm):** why am I even friends with u guys

 **Lance (7:23pm):** Uh… because we’re AWESOME?!?! ;D

 **Hunk (7:23pm):** Wait wait wait! We weren’t trying to hurt your feelings!

 **Pidge (7:24pm):** Seriously though, inquiring minds want to know. How many times did you kick and/or punch the dryer?

 **Keith (7:24pm):** uuuughhh

 **Hunk (7:24pm):** So like…… 4 or 5?

 **Lance (7:25pm):** My bet’s on 3!

 **Pidge (7:25pm):** I’m gonna guess twice.

 **Keith (7:26pm):** 3

 **Lance (7:26pm):** BOOYAH! I WIN!!

 **Keith (7:26pm):** hey

 **Keith (7:26pm):** I got it 2 run

 **Pidge (7:27pm):** It seems you also got it to… ignite?

 **Keith (7:27pm):** no

 **Keith (7:27pm):** shiro got it to ignite

 **Keith (7:27pm):** all I did was fix it

 **Pidge (7:28pm):** Incorrectly. So that the next time Shiro ran it, it ignited.

 **Keith (7:28pm):** i

 **Hunk (7:29pm):** So……. do you still have an apartment, or….?

 **Keith (7:29pm):** YES

 **Keith (7:29pm):** y would u ask that

 **Pidge (7:30pm)** It’s a legitimate concern, considering you just lit your dryer on fire. Along with, presumably, its surroundings.

 **Keith (7:30pm):** SHIRO just lit our dryer on fire

 **Keith (7:30pm):** but our apt is fine

 **Keith (7:30pm):** minus the broom

 **Lance (7:31pm):** ………………..broom………

 **Keith (7:31pm):** bathroom

 **Lance (7:31pm):** lol

 **Lance (7:31pm):** Did you really just typo BATHROOM as bROOM??? Good one, Keith.

 **Keith (7:32pm):** no

 **Keith (7:32pm):** its an abbreviation

 **Keith (7:32pm):** like bday

 **Pidge (7:32pm):** Keith, that’s not… actually, never mind. Not worth it.

 **Hunk (7:33pm):** Sorry about your broom. )O:

 **Lance (7:33pm):** lololol BROOM

 **Hunk (7:34pm):** Don’t worry, you can come stay with us while your broom gets fixed! (O:

 **Keith (7:34pm):** uh

 **Keith (7:34pm):** thanks?

 **Keith (7:35pm):** we’ll b there in like 15

 **Pidge (7:36pm):** Are we just… not gonna address my point about my parents’ house?

 **Lance (7:36pm):** Do your parents have FIRE hosting skills? ;D

 **Pidge (7:36pm):** Aaand we’ve come full-circle.

 **Hunk (7:36pm):** Oh man, I guess two guests is… kinda a lot by Pidge standards. Man, now I feel bad…

 **Hunk (7:37pm):** WAIT! I have an idea!

 **Lance (7:37pm):** SHARE SHARE SHARE

 **Hunk (7:37pm):** WHAT IF Keith stays with us and Shiro stays with the Holts?

 **Lance (7:38pm):** Oh yeEEEAAAH! Then Shiro can hang with Matt AND we can show off our hosting skillzzz to Keith!!! Yooooo Hunk, you’re a flippin GENIUS!

 **Hunk (7:38pm):** What d’you think, Keith?

 **Hunk (7:40pm):** …Keith?

 **Lance (7:43pm):** KEEEIIIITH~

 **Hunk (7:44pm):** WELP. Guess we’ll talk about it when they get here...


	3. Sink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith (1:50pm): uh  
> Keith (1:50pm): u kno those pipes under sinks  
> Hunk (1:51pm): …yes……  
> Keith (1:51pm): can u fix those  
> Hunk (1:51pm): Probs. What’s wrong with it?  
> Keith (1:51pm): its not under the sink anymore  
> Hunk (1:51pm): KEITH  
> Hunk (1:52pm): I’ll be over in like 45 minutes. In the meantime: DON’T. TOUCH. THE PLUMBING.

 

> **Keith (1:48pm): hi**
> 
> _Hunk (1:49pm): What did you do……………_
> 
> **Keith (1:49pm): y do u always say that**
> 
> _Hunk (1:49pm): Uh, I dunno. Maybe because 9 times out of 10, you text me because you’ve done something awful to your poor house or some unfortunate appliance within it??_
> 
> **Keith (1:50pm): not my fault shiro fixes everything w/ duct tape**
> 
> _Hunk (1:50pm): Okay then, what did you AND Shiro do?_
> 
> **Keith (1:50pm): uh**
> 
> **Keith (1:50pm): u kno those pipes under sinks**
> 
> _Hunk (1:51pm): …yes……_
> 
> **Keith (1:51pm): can u fix those**
> 
> _Hunk (1:51pm): Probs. What’s wrong with it?_
> 
> **Keith (1:51pm): its not under the sink anymore**
> 
> _Hunk (1:51pm): KEITH_
> 
> _Hunk (1:52pm): I’ll be over in like 45 minutes. In the meantime: DON’T. TOUCH. THE PLUMBING._

After reaching a stopping point on his homework and gathering up his tools, Hunk makes his way to Keith and Shiro’s house as promised. Keith meets him at the door and ushers him in, explaining that his brother won’t be home for another two hours and wondering if Hunk can fix the sink in that time.

“I dunno, buddy. I’ll have to take a look at it, first,” Hunk explains, “Which sink is it?”

Keith makes a face and leads him towards the bathroom. As they near their destination, the carpet becomes increasingly soggy. Hunk regrets not taking off his socks at the door.

“Dude, even if we fix the sink in time, I doubt we’ll get all this flooding cleaned up by the time Shiro comes home,” Hunk says apologetically as they reach the very wet bathroom, “What’d you do, try and fix the sink with the water turned on?”

“I needed to see where the leak was coming from!” defends Keith, swinging open the cabinet under the sink for Hunk to survey the damage. The visible part of the pipe, which is practically mummified in various colors of duct tape, has been ripped away and is sitting nearby on top of the toilet.

Hunk groans, “Oh man, that’s way beyond fixing. We gotta replace that entirely. What did you _do_? Did you just rip it right outta there?”

“I, uh…” Keith begins, “It was leaking.”

“Of course it was leaking!” Hunk retorts, “It’s like 90% duct tape!”

“Like I said, it’s not _my_ fault Shiro fixes everything with duct tape,” Keith says, as if that somehow absolves him of ripping out a pipe with the water still running.

Hunk sighs and rubs his temples, “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do: we’re gonna take this pipe to the hardware store and find a replacement. Then, we’re gonna stop off and rent a shop vac on our way home so we can get this all cleaned up. Sound like a plan?”

Keith nods reluctantly, a petulant frown on his face.

Hunk wraps an arm around his friend’s shoulders and gives him a reassuring squeeze, “Don’t you worry, we’ll get this fixed up in no time! But uh… maybe next time, try texting me _before_ you start ripping things out of walls and throwing things out of windows? Just, y’know, a thought.”

Keith’s frown deepens for a moment, but then he relaxes into Hunk’s hug, “Yeah, I guess.”

Hunk smiles, “Now, let’s go get a new pipe and a shop vac! You should probably text your brother while I drive.”

Keith groans.

“I mean, unless you want him to come home to this mess with no forewarning,” Hunk says with a shrug, “Your choice, man.”

Keith sighs and pulls out his phone, “Fine, okay.”

Hunk grins and marches towards the front door, his feet sloshing through the flooded carpet, “To Betsy we go!”

“I still can’t believe you named your car Betsy,” Keith quips as he sloshes along behind his friend.

“Says the guy who named his motorcycle Kitty,” Hunk says with a glance back at Keith, “Which, by the way, is an adorable name. Excellent choice, bud.”

“Whatever,” Keith rolls his eyes, a smile creeping onto his face, “Let’s go get a pipe and a shop vac.”


	4. Motorcycle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not upset,” Keith growls, “I’m doing exactly what you told me to do.”  
> “Which is…?” Hunk says, not entirely sure what his friend is referring to.  
> “Calling you before I make things worse!” Keith snaps.  
> “Oh!” Hunk gasps, “Oh, wow! I’m proud of you, man! Good job.”  
> “Thanks,” Keith grumbles quietly. The fight has left his voice. Now he just sounds sad.

Hunk and Pidge are neck-deep in a battery-related debate when Hunk’s phone starts ringing.

“Hang on, I gotta answer this,” he says, shooting Pidge an apologetic look.

“Hey, we’re not done here!” she argues.

“It’s Keith,” Hunk says, “If I don’t answer, he’ll probably burn his house down or something.”

“Fine,” Pidge concedes, “But I’m not done educating you about power sources! This isn’t over.”

“Stay tuned for part two of this _electric_ debate,” Hunk responds with a wink, then picks up his phone and answers, “Hey buddy, what’s on fire this time?”

“Nothing!” Keith retorts.

Pidge snickers and Hunk shushes her, then returns his attention to his phone, “Okay. It’s okay. What’s wrong, bud? You sound upset.”

“I’m not upset,” Keith growls, “I’m doing exactly what you told me to do.”

“Which is…?” Hunk says, not entirely sure what his friend is referring to.

“Calling you before I make things worse!” Keith snaps.

“Oh!” Hunk gasps, “Oh, wow! I’m proud of you, man! Good job.”

“Thanks,” Keith grumbles quietly. The fight has left his voice. Now he just sounds sad.

“So what’s up? What d’you need help with?” asks Hunk.

Keith is silent for a moment before muttering something too quiet for Hunk to decipher.

“You’re gonna have to talk louder, bud. I didn’t catch any of that,” Hunk responds.

“It’s Kitty!” Keith growls, “I can’t get her to run.”

“Aww, buddy,” Hunk frowns into his phone, “Where’re you at? I’ll come help. We’ll get her fixed up in no time!”

“I’m at the gas station on the edge of town,” Keith explains, his voice cracking bit, “Y’know, the one that changes ownership every couple months?”

“Okay, I’ll be right there,” Hunk says, “Why don’t you go in and grab yourself a snack while you wait? Give yourself a lil’ break so you don’t get mad and kick things.”

Keith hesitates, then sniffles, “Okay.”

“You’ll be fine,” Hunk assures him, “I’ll be right there.”

“Thanks,” Keith mumbles before hanging up.

Hunk tucks his phone in his pocket and looks over at Pidge, “He called me _before_ he destroyed something!”

“Wow,” Pidge says, completely deadpan, “Impressive.”

\----------

When Hunk pulls up in his yellow Geo Tracker, Keith is sitting on the curb beside his broken-down motorcycle, glumly eating a cup of microwave chili. Hunk shudders at the sight, “When I suggested going in and getting a snack, I was thinking of something a little more… civilized.”

“Like what?” responds Keith, “A Snickers bar? Gas station taquitos? It’s gas station food, Hunk.”

“I have leftover chili in my fridge!” Hunk says, “If you wanted chili, you coulda just asked me!”

“You told me to go get a snack,” Keith points out with a shrug, “So I did. Here’s my snack.”

Hunk sighs. He can’t really argue with that logic, “Okay, fair. Let’s just… take a look at Kitty. Can you tell me what happened so I know where to look?”

“I think maybe it’s the ignition?” Keith hypothesizes, “It’s been hard to start her up the past couple weeks. Then today I stopped for gas, and she just… wouldn’t start back up afterwards.”

Hunk nods and stoops to inspect his friend’s bike, “Sounds like an ignition problem to me. I’ll check ‘er out to make sure. Hope you weren’t in a hurry! You need me to take you anywhere?”

“Nah,” Keith says with a sullen shrug, “I just… had a fight with Shiro, so I was gonna go ride around the desert for a while. It’s… not a big deal.”

“Oh,” Hunk frowns, “I’m sorry buddy. No wonder you’re in such a mood! D’you wanna talk about it? Talking always helps me when I get into an argument with my—”

“No,” Keith interrupts, “I don’t wanna talk about it. I just wanted to ride around the desert and not think for a while, y’know? But I guess that’s not gonna happen.”

That sounds like the opposite of what Hunk would want on a bad day (or any day), but hey. To each their own. He makes a sympathetic noise and continues working. Maybe if he can fix Kitty fast enough, Keith can get back on the road and have his weird cathartic desert adventure as planned.

No such luck, though.

“Aw man, your ignition is completely shot!” Hunk groans, “I know how to replace it, but we need to run and get parts. This might take a while.”

“Figures,” Keith grumbles, standing up to toss his now-empty chili cup in the trash.

“I’m sorry, buddy,” Hunk says, wiping his filthy hands on his pants before wrapping his friend in a sympathetic hug.

“Not your fault,” Keith mutters, leaning into the hug.

“Yeah, but I still wish I could do more to—WAIT!” Hunk gasps, grabbing Keith by the shoulders and shaking his limp form in excitement, “I have an idea!”

Keith lets out a curious grunt in response.

“My car’s a convertible!” Hunk announces, “What if we just roll down the top and take Betsy for a desert joy ride before we pick up new parts for Kitty? She’s not quite a motorcycle, but… you look like you could use some wind in your face and red dust in your hair. What d’you think?”

Relief washes over Keith’s face.

Hunk knows his stomach is going to regret this decision, but the look on Keith’s face is so worth it.

“Thanks Hunk,” Keith says, wrapping his friend in a vice grip of a hug.

Yep, _definitely_ worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember that I write purely for fun and catharsis. My fics are unbeta’d and minimally proofread. They’re not perfect, and that’s okay. If you notice something I could fix or improve, please keep those thoughts to yourself. If I genuinely want critique, I’ll ask a close friend in private. **Surprise critiques are very stressful and discouraging.** Thanks for understanding!


End file.
